Apologizes
by ThatOneFanKid
Summary: Destiel


The familiar 'Welcome to Sioux Falls, South Dakota!' sign welcomed the green eyes of Dean Winchester. Sam Winchester, his younger brother, and he had a job a few towns over, a tiny poltergeist causing issues with an old friend of Bobby's. The ghost was easily taken over and Dean decided to take a little detour from their next location of Montana. The eldest Winchester had finally made the decision to visit an old friend of his after a year of avoiding the town at any cost.

"Dean? Are you sure you want to do this now? We have a case all the way in Jackson, Montana." Sam sighed.

"I just need a minute, Sam. That won't kill anyone." His eyes were now stern as he stared down the road like he would a demon. His hands tightened on the wheel of his beloved '67 Impala until his knuckles turned white. Sam fell silent, knowing better to argue with his sibling when he got like this.

Dean parked the car a few blocks away from where he was and climbed out. "I'll be right back," Was the only thing he said before shutting the door, leaving no time for a comment from Sam. The normally cheeky hunter's feet carried him down the street, stopping him in front of a flower shop. After a moment of looking through the window, he sighed and opened the door, the chime of the bell chirping into the store.

"Hello sir!" A middle aged women appeared in front of him, blue eyes shining. "My name is Abigail. Is there anything I can do to help you today?"

The Winchester shifted his weight, not really sure what he was doing here until his mouth blurted, "Do you have any sunflowers?" His green eyes dulled as a memory crashed into him. "He really likes sunflowers…"

"You have great timing! We got a new shipment in just a few minutes ago! What color wrapping would you like for the dozen?"

"Does it matter?"

Abigail gasped as if he'd just insulted her mother. "Of course it matters! Different colors mean different things! Here, I'll show you."

After Dean paid for the flowers, he crossed the street and walked through a gate. His feet once again led him, stomach knotting up. He hadn't been here in a year, but he still remembers where he was. He faltered as he reached her, having second thoughts.

"Hey Cas." A bittersweet smile reached his lips and he moved the

Flowers from hand to hand, looking down as he continued. "Did you know the wrappings on flowers actually means something? It's really stupid. They have a color for anything you would want to say to someone. I don't think they have a color for anything hateful, but then again why would you give flowers to someone you hate, so I guess there isn't a need for them," A chuckle rose from his throat. "Apparently purple means I'm sorry but it looks really ugly with the yellow, don't you think?"

He knelt, laying the beautiful dozen Sunflowers onto the marble in front of him. Bobby tried to convince him to give Castiel a hunter's funeral, seeing as he was human when he had died. But Dean was determined to get him buried, using the excuse of 'he isn't a hunter, he's an angel and deserves more then that'. Secretly, he hoped he would come back. As a ghost or angel or human he didn't care. However, as each day passed, his heart sunk a little lower, having heard nothing from Bobby about Cas' grave being disturbed. Until today, he couldn't bring himself to visit his resting place.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. You shouldn't be here. I knew you were human and needed protecting, but I let you go. I should've made you stay with Sam and I, but I screwed up. I always screw up when it comes to saving people I care about. You always were so confused when I'd say it was my job to protect you, and you would tell me that you didn't understand and you were the celestial being sent to stand vigil over me and some shit. But it _was_ my job and truth is, I needed you a hell of a lot more then you needed me."

Dean's voice cracked and he tried with all his might to hold back his tears, but the dam finally broke. Once one fell, the rest came pouring after it. He told himself he wouldn't cry and here he was, shoulders shaking as he looked at the name _Clarence Richardson_ on the tombstone, staring at him, mocking him.

"I love you. I fucking love you and I hope you saw it because I was too hard headed to say anything when you were alive. It was so stupid, Castiel! I don't understand why I couldn't, I really don't. I have the courage to fight demons and monsters everyday but I couldn't tell you how I felt. But now you're gone and I miss you so bad that everything hurt because I love you. I just, I just wish you knew that."

He heard feet moving in the grass towards him. For a moment he let himself think it was Castiel, appearing and startling him like he always did. He could almost hear him asking if crying was a custom and if he should too.

Sam knelt next to his brother; hand on his back as Dean quickly tried hiding that he'd be crying. "Dammit, Sam, I told you I would be a minute!"

"He was my friend too, Dean. I miss him just as much as you do." The elder looked to the longer-haired man, seeing tears shining on his cheeks.

They sat in silence, looking at the marble stone. Anger and regret was allowed to pass over them as the tears fell from their eyes. "You know, he wouldn't even understand why we're here," Sam finally said, earning a chuckle from the other.

"He'd probably ask why we are giving marble flowers when we should be on a case." Dean replied, the grief lifting just enough to picture his reaction. "We wouldn't hear the end of it. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I would give anything to not be hearing the end of it right now." He felt Sam's hand squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. The longhaired hunter stood, looking at Dean.

"We should be going though, Dean."

His response was named man waving him off. "Yeah, yeah. Just let me say goodbye." Sam nodded and touched the gravestone, leaving the cemetery to give his brother privacy.

Dean's finger traced his name, as if touching the cold stone was Castiel. "I have to go now. You'd be nagging about not leaving sooner anyways. When we get done in Jackson, I'll make a pit stop here. I heard there is a kick ass diner here with some awesome pie. We should try it." He pressed his lips against the engraved marble before getting to his feet. "I'm sorry we didn't come sooner. It's just, painful. Enjoy those flowers. I love you."

He wiped the rest of his tears away on his jacket before making his way out of the cemetery, the pain dulling to a numbness that drowned his body. Before he walked out the gate, he could've sworn he saw Cas' reflection in the metal, holding the flowers he left. When his eyes looked back, there was nothing there. _Your mind is playing tricks on you, Dean_. He told himself, shaking his head as he headed back to his car.

As soon as Dean's back was facing him, Castiel's ghost appeared, picking up the sunflowers. He looked at the hunter he was sent to guard fondly, a smile playing on his lips.

"That's all I have been waiting to hear. Goodbye, Dean,"

A bright white light engulfed him, crossing over before his lover had the chance to look back.


End file.
